


A Dustland Fairytale

by monsterleadmehome



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost Luke Skywalker, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Loss of Virginity, POV First Person, POV Rey (Star Wars), Post-Canon, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:48:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22094350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monsterleadmehome/pseuds/monsterleadmehome
Summary: Hope that you could still be out there.Is that naive? Maybe I’ve always been naive. But I was so close to having everything I always wanted, only to have it snatched away at the last minute.If the Force is this cruel, maybe I don’t want anything to do with it.__A post-TROS fix it fic.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 108
Kudos: 259
Collections: TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics





	1. a voice in the desert

**Author's Note:**

> *Throws hat into the fix-it ring.* Had enough of these yet? No? Good. 
> 
> I have a history of processing grief through writing (see my [first smutty one shot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14101668) that I wrote the eve of my grandpa's funeral). This is a little different in that I channeled my grief into Rey and tried writing in first person. Bear with me, if you're able. I think the payoff will be worth it. 
> 
> Many thanks to obsessivepropulsive for the beta.

I still wear your sweater. His sweater—Ben’s sweater. I sleep in it every night. It still smells like ash and smoke and something uniquely you— _ him. _ But it’s starting to fade. 

I turn over on the hard cot and try to sleep as another tear rolls down my cheek. Sleep is elusive again. Tatooine is a lot like Jakku, and honestly I’m not sure why I stayed. Why I stay. I came here to bury the lightsabers—to say goodbye to the Skywalkers and their legacy. 

Now it’s my legacy, too.

I told the old woman my name was Rey Skywalker in a bit of a panic. But  _ they _ were watching, and it just came out. I should’ve said Solo. I always felt more at ease around Han than Luke or Leia. And if you were here, Ben—it would be true, wouldn’t it? You would’ve made me a Solo for real.

But you’re not here. And I don’t know where you are. I’ve been visited by them… but never you. Instead, I walked around with a gaping wound in the Force for months.

Waiting.

And when you never showed, I cut myself off. I had to. I couldn’t do it anymore. 

Now I don’t feel anything. I don’t see anyone. It’s better that way.

I took my arm wrap off. My scar didn’t heal when you gave me your life force. I’m glad. People see it and know there’s a story there. But I don’t tell them what it is. 

I go to Tosche Station for supplies. I drink at the cantina in Mos Eisley. I repair speeders. I tell nosy men that I’m a widow—which is kind of true, from a certain point of view. We were inside each other’s minds, so who needs a license or jewelry to say otherwise? I’ve ditched my white clothes for tan and beige again. It just works better on a desert planet.

I hear from the others on occasion—Finn, Poe, Rose. They want me to return to help with the reconstruction effort. Maybe I will someday. But it hurts too much right now. They are happy and free and I’m… not.

When the suns rise, I give up on sleep and brew some caf. At least the food on Tatooine is better than the veg-meat portions I used to live off of on Jakku. I curl up in the entrance of the Lars Homestead and drink it slowly while I go over the Jedi texts for the hundredth time.

There is something about a vergence scatter on Exegol. I read more about that—that and something called a “world between worlds.” None of it makes sense. But somehow it gives me hope.

Hope that you could still be out there.

Is that naive? Maybe I’ve always been naive. But I was so close to having everything I always wanted, only to have it snatched away at the last minute.

If the Force is this cruel, maybe I don’t want anything to do with it.

* * *

It’s been months. I think—I might hate it here. Why haven’t I been able to leave?

Luke couldn’t wait to leave this place. He told me so himself. Leia was only here for a brief period, which she also hated. Maybe it’s the presence of death. So prevalent, so pervasive. I feel almost trapped, much like I did on Jakku. Maybe I just went back to where I was most comfortable. Among ruins and ashes and sand.

They say some people find comfort in misery because at least it’s familiar. 

Going back to Exegol seems like it might be a start. But I don’t know if I can handle it just yet. To see the place where you saved me—where I lost you. For one blessed moment, I knew how much you loved me. I’m scared it might rip me open to go back.

Still… I have the Falcon and BB-8. Poe insisted it was just a loan. I think he felt bad for me. He’s not the sharpest tool in the box, but even he knew something was wrong. I know when I meet up with them again, the droid will have to go back. Maybe that’s why I haven’t been answering his comms lately.

I pull the sleeves of your sweater down around my fists, enjoy the feel of the fabric against my knuckles. I have nothing else on underneath. I’m sure if you’re out there somewhere, you’re smirking to see me like this. I know we both thought about it. And as perfect as that kiss was—it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

I wanted to spend a thousand lifetimes with you.

BB-8 rolls up to check on me. He always seems to know when I’m crying. I ask him to check the vaporator for something to do. He never complains. 

I think I’ll go into town today. I have things I need to purchase. Deliveries to make. Everyone here thinks I’m weird. The young widow hermit who’s taken over the Lars Homestead.

I guess they’re right.

* * *

There is a boy at the open air market. He can’t be more than ten. Sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, an abundance of freckles. He feels familiar to me, though I can’t place why. His presence pulls at my heart. What would our children have looked like? 

I watch him for a bit. He must be poor, looking for a chance to scam something from one of the unsuspecting vendors. He darts in and out with ease, escaping the notice of most of the patrons. His clothes hang loosely off his body.

I remember that feeling. 

I don’t have to scavenge anymore, but sometimes I still do—picking useless parts off the speeders and things people bring me to fix. Only now I clean them up and turn them into sculptures. It’s something to do and helps me forget, if only for a bit. People say art is healing. I don’t know about that, but it is at the very least, a distraction.

The boy makes his move, grabbing a piece of fruit while the Toydarian’s back is turned. But he isn’t quick enough. 

“Oi, kid! You know what we do to thieves around here?” He raises a large knife and grabs the boy’s hand. 

I can’t let this happen, but I’m too far away to run over there in time. I know what I have to do. 

In one fluid movement, I stretch out my hand and let the full weight of the Force come flooding back into my body as the knife soars through the air and stops a hair’s length from the boy’s flesh. 

The Toydarian looks up, stunned. And it gives the boy just enough time to run away unscathed. But I can barely feel relief, as everything I’ve been suppressing for months comes back with a vengeance. 

It is emptiness and pain and a deep longing for my missing half. I hear voices crying out and feel my chest constrict. I fall to my knees, heaving sobbing gasps as I try to breathe normally again. 

Then the voices dwindle to just one. And the emptiness feels a little less. 

_ Rey.  _

_ Ben? _

It can’t be you—him. Can it?

I rise, gather my things, and rush home. 

* * *

I used to hate the thread that tethered us. The way I always felt a pull to you no matter what happened. From the very first time we met, it was like I had always known you. I tried to deny it, to break it. I was a fool. I fought it for so long, and it broke before I was ready to say goodbye.

Now—now I feel it again. The faintest tugging somewhere behind my heart. You’re alive. I can feel it. 

I cycle through emotions like a madwoman, laughing and crying every few minutes as I try to meditate and find you in the ether. 

BB-8 checks on me frequently, asks if I’m okay. Tries to get me to eat. 

But this is too important. 

It’s like wading through a swamp, thick and soupy. Nothing is clear. 

Except you. It’s definitely you. 

_ Ben. _

_ Rey. _ A beat of silence. Then,  _ Help. _

_ How? _

“I might be able to help with that.”

The voice startles me, for as long as I’ve kept him out. “Master Luke.”

“You’re a hard person to get ahold of.”

“I—”

“Cut yourself off from the Force. Yes, I know. Did you not learn anything from my mistakes?”

“You don’t understand. It was too painful…”

He arches an eyebrow. “Without my nephew?”

I nod. “It felt like I was missing half of myself.”

“And what does it feel like now?”

“It still hurts but I feel the faint tug of him again. Is it—real?”

He scratches his beard. “Yes, I suppose so. I haven’t seen him on this side, so I don’t think he’s truly dead.”

“I thought maybe he just hadn’t—” I cut myself off, not knowing what I’m wanting to say. 

“He trained with me for over ten years. You think I wouldn’t train my own nephew in becoming one with the Force?”

I shrug. “There’s a lot of things he should’ve had that he didn’t.” It’s only mildly accusatory, but he winces anyway.

“I suppose I deserved that.”

“It wasn’t just you,” I offer lamely. 

Luke nods, currents of the Force surrounding him moving in time, giving off a cerulean glow. “We all failed Ben. But you never did.”

The tears are welling up before I can stop them. “I let him go!”

“No, Rey. You couldn’t have stopped it. He chose to give his life for yours. He really is Han’s son.” He takes a seat at my table—formerly his table, I suppose. “But it isn’t too late. You can still save him.”

My heart swells with hope of its own volition. I want to tamp it down before it gets out of control. “How?”

“I think—it’s not how but  _ where _ .”

“Exegol,” I assume aloud. 

“Ahch-To, actually.”

“What?” I look up in surprise, but he’s gone. 

* * *

BB-8 seems to roll a little faster as I scurry about, gathering up my things and packing. Finally, some excitement.

It only takes a couple hours to close up shop on Tatooine and ready the Falcon to leave. I feel reenergized—like something new is about to start. Much like I felt leaving Jakku on this same ship for the first time.

My heart thumps out a reckless rhythm, and it’s like I’m coming back to life again. I don’t think I’ll ever return to a desert planet.

I feel the Force around me, the way it binds all things—I rest in the feeling of the tether that’s faintly there.

_ I’m coming for you, Ben. _


	2. through the looking glass

The ride to Ahch-To is blessedly uneventful. BB-8 isn’t as good of a co-pilot as Chewie, but at least he can reach the levers I can’t with his retractable arm. 

I used to take great pleasure in flying, in watching the star field as it whizzed past the viewport. But everything has felt so hollow since I lost you. 

It’s then that I feel a strain on the invisible tension. As if your soul is reminding me,  _ I’m still here. _

I know you are.  _ I’m coming. _

When we land, the sky is clear and the most brilliant blue I’ve ever seen. This planet truly is one of the most beautiful I’ve ever been to. A flock of curious porgs greet us as we disembark. I find that I’ve missed the noises they make—a reminder that life carries on. 

Predictably, the Lanais are not happy to see me. I’ve only ever brought destruction to this island, so they have a right to be displeased. I notice the remains of your ship that I burned are gone. 

I have picked up a bit of their language, though. Alcida-Auka spies me from where she’s hanging up clothing outside one of the huts. Her evil eye could’ve taken down Palpatine by itself. 

“You again?” Is what I think she says.

I nod and splay my hands in a show of good faith. I attempt their speech and say what I hope is, “I come in peace and respect. I promise not to make a mess.”

I hope it’s a promise I can keep.

She gives one curt bob of her head and returns to her laundry. Hopefully we won’t have to interact much more for the duration of my stay. I grab my things from the Falcon and set up in Luke’s old hut. 

The one I stayed in—where we touched hands—has been rebuilt, but it feels wrong to go in there without you. Soon I’ll remedy that. I’m not sure how, but I will.

* * *

After getting settled in, I go up to the temple to meditate. I stare at the mosaic of the Prime Jedi, the white and the black stones coming together in perfect harmony. The embodiment of the light and dark—that was supposed to be us, I think.

_ It still could, _ I remind myself.

“Focus, Rey.” It’s Luke again, standing in the middle of the mosaic pool, not worried about getting wet because, well, he isn’t corporeal. Kriff, I hate his smug face sometimes. “I heard that.”

“Haven’t you learned to not read people’s minds without their consent by now?” I snap.

He chuckles, which just makes me angrier. “I underestimated you—and Ben, I suppose. A Force dyad. I’ve never seen such power before. The stronger you get, the stronger he gets. Even death cannot separate you.”

Tears I didn’t realize I’d been crying roll down my cheeks and I swipe at them angrily. “Why did you tell me to come here?”

“Sacred island, remember? Be patient. Focus. It will show you what you need to know.”

I look down for a moment, digesting this.  _ Breathe, _ I tell myself. When I return my gaze, he’s gone again. Figures.

I remember the first lesson Luke taught me. The one where I tapped into the intrinsic power of this island. I close my eyes.

Life. Death and decay, that feeds new life. Warmth. Cold. Peace. Violence. 

It’s all still here. And yet— 

Voices, small enough to be less than a whisper. I feel a breeze blow around me. The ground begins to shake. I see currents of energy and entire galaxies with their billions of stars. It’s a big universe. I feel so small.

The sound stops, like it has been sucked from existence, and I open my eyes. I am no longer in the temple room. The inkiest black backlit by tiny points of light—stars, I assume—is all that surrounds me. That and lines of brilliant white forming pathways to distant portals. I’ve never seen anything like it.

There is a figure in the distance and I walk towards it, the pull somewhere in my chest growing stronger. As I close in, I see the dark hair and pale skin.

“Ben?”

The figure turns and then—

I feel the stone beneath me, and the twin suns are low in the sky. I stare at the mosaic of the Prime Jedi and curse myself for losing the vision. It was you, I know it.

* * *

When I return to the huts, a portion of fish and grain has been left for me. I’m thankful beyond words, knowing how the Lanais feel about my presence here. Yet, they still act in kindness. I start a fire and eat in silence while I stare at the flames.

BB-8 comes rolling over, alerting me that he’s received a message for me. I tell him to play it and a little hologram of Rose appears next to one of the porgs who’s been clamoring for some of my food. I think, somehow, she’d appreciate the visual.

“Rey, I hope you’re doing well and that you’re finding whatever it is you’re looking for. I wouldn’t have contacted you, but we picked up a ton of refugees after the Canto Bight riots and there’s a young boy here I think you’ll want to meet.” She looks around and seemingly steps closer to the recording device. “He’s Force-sensitive. I met him briefly in passing when he helped me and Finn a year ago, but he’s—a little lost, I guess. Finn has tried to connect with him, but I think he could really benefit from your guidance. Contact me when you can. We miss you.”

The transmission ends and BB-8 gives me a questioning beep. “I know, but we’re not done here yet, Beebee.” 

I’m not leaving until I know how to get you back.

After I finish eating and douse the fire, I curl up inside the hut and try to sleep. Even though I haven’t done much physical labor today, I’m exhausted. Maybe it was wherever that vision pulled me that took so much out of me.

No sooner do my eyes close than I’m seeing your face again. It’s always you in my dreams. 

“Ben,” I breathe, reaching out to touch your face.

Your scar is gone and you are… so, so beautiful. I’d always thought so, since the very first time you took off your helmet.

“Rey.” Your voice is soft and sure, like you’ve been waiting for me.

“Is this real?” I lean my head against yours, letting the warmth of your massive frame warm me through.

Your hands rub my shoulders, pull me closer. “Not yet. But soon. You know where to find me.”

* * *

I wake with a gasp, sitting up quickly and rubbing my eyes. It’s not quite sunrise yet, but I can see a faint light creeping through the cracks around the door. I feel a pain deep in my gut and realize with a sinking sensation that I know exactly where I need to go.

The place that hasn’t stopped calling me since I got here.

I take off your sweater and put my normal clothes on. Then I grab the blanket—I remember how cold the water is.

The climb to the mouth of the cave is arduous and the pink-orange glow of the first sun is climbing over the horizon as I reach it. The tendrils of plant life have crawled even further up the rock since the last time I was here, and it’s then that I remember time works a bit differently on Ahch-To. Hopefully that will work in my favor.

I spend what feels like too long hovering over the mouth, wishing there was an easier way in. But the answers I’m trying to find could lead me to you, so I suck in a deep breath and push myself through.

The free fall is terrifying. The icy stab of the water is worse. My eyes open below the surface and see the skeleton of what once was an enormous creature. I shake my head and kick my legs—swimming is still so awkward for me.

The gulp of air I take in at the surface is nearly painful and I swim as fast as I can to the shoreline, pulling myself up on the ledge. This place still gives me the creeps, but it doesn’t feel as dark as before.

There are undercurrents of something else at work here, though I can’t quite decipher it.

I shuffle closer to the mirror-like back wall and place my hand on it, feeling a convergence of space and time. Before, it felt like an empty echo. This time I feel something big is about to happen. The Force is rippling with activity. The whispers start up again.

“Show me Ben. Show me how to save him.”

The whole surface of the wall comes alive. It isn’t foggy or misty like last time—instead I see the field of stars from my vision, criss-crossed with white lines. A blurry figure moves towards me and as it draws nearer, certain things become clear.

It’s Ben. It’s you.

And you are quite naked.

If I didn’t have a million emotions rushing through me, I could probably dwell on that fact a little longer, but your hand reaches up to touch mine through the mirror. It’s like pressing my hand against cold transparisteel. I can’t feel you.

“Ben?”

Your eyes, so deep and expressive search mine—as if you can’t believe I’m actually standing here in front of you. “Rey.”

You press your hand harder into the surface. I do the same. I look into your eyes and you nod, just like you did on Exegol. I close my eyes and concentrate. 

It feels like electricity sparking through my veins and I push it out, letting the currents spread out against the entire exterior of the wall. From deep inside, I use everything within to push more. Harder. Deeper.

The cave begins to rumble. I open my eyes and see blue lightning rippling across the mirror. Our hands are still aligned and I add my other one parallel to it. You do the same. It’s vibrating now with an intensity like nothing I’ve experienced before. The whispers grow to shouts and a cacophony of noise prevents me from thinking of anything outside of this moment.

You.

Me.

We are one.

With a ferocious blast of sound, the entire thing shatters. I use the Force to shield myself from the debris, and somehow—my outstretched hand finds another. I pull hard and you collide with me.

You’re heavy. I knew that, but lying on the stone floor of the cave with the wind knocked out me, I really  _ feel _ it.

“Rey?”

“Ben!”

It’s really you, at last. My mind races through all the things I want to say, but debris is raining from the ceiling now, too, and I realize that the cave is collapsing around us. “Can you swim?” I ask.

You nod and relief pours over me as I roll us into the water.

* * *

Well, isn’t this a role reversal. You, sitting on the stone bench, wrapped in a blanket while I build us a fire. Me, waiting for you to tell me about what happened. You haven’t said much since I pulled you out.

_ Give me time. _

I look up, stunned, and find you watching me with a curious gaze. I forgot my shields are completely down. _ It feels good to have you in my head again. _

You smile.

My eyes trace your exposed legs, finally able to appreciate the sinewy muscle I see, as well as your large feet. I throw another piece of wood onto the fire and rise, making to leave. You grab my hand.

“I’ll be right back.”

You nod.

I go back to the hut I slept in last night and retrieve your clothes. The sweater is with my things but I kept your pants and boots, too. I was never going to give up on you. I couldn’t. When I return to our hut, the one I first realized I loved you in, you look up.

I hand the clothes to you. You take the shirt in your hands and sniff it. “It smells like you.”

“I’ve been wearing it.”

The grin that takes over your face is the most Han thing I’ve ever seen. “Miss me that much?”

But it doesn’t matter how charming you are, because the weight of everything collapses on me and the tears start streaming down my face as I fling myself at you. “I did, you kriffing idiot!” I bury my face in your neck and sob, still not believing how real and warm you are beneath my fingertips.

“Hey,” you whisper softly, your fingers combing through my still damp hair. “I’m never going anywhere again.”

I pull back to look into your dark eyes, so full of life and hope. “That better be a promise.” 

You reposition me so I’m sitting in your lap. “It is.”

Your lips are just as soft as I remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is mostly done, so expect that in the next few days. Thanks again to obsessivepropulsive for beta-ing!


	3. divine union

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end, folks! Writing this has helped me heal somewhat and I hope reading it has a similar effect. In this chapter, we finally earn that rating. ;) 
> 
> Thanks again to obsessivepropulsive for the beta!!!

Our first kiss was relatively chaste. No tongue, barely parted lips. I thought it would be the first of many. Then I spent six long months thinking I might never get to see you again. So now—now I let out a breathy moan as I run my tongue along yours, feeling the texture of it.

I love the way you taste.

Your hands dig into my waist, fingers sliding under my shirt to graze my skin, setting me ablaze. I don’t exactly know what I’m doing, but I don’t want to stop. I let my touch wander beneath the blanket, uncovering your firm shoulders and chest. I remember the first time I saw you bare like this, I had to look away.

You laugh and kiss the corner of my mouth. “You still want me to put on a cowl?”

“Shut up.” I yank your hair a little too harshly as I mouth along your jaw. 

_ I guess I deserved that. _

_ You most certainly did. _

The next thing I know I’m being lifted up as you carry me over to the tiny bed. I lift my arms so you can peel off my shirt. It’s also then that I first take in your fully naked form. Stars, I wasn’t prepared. You’re so… so—

“So what?”

“Beautiful.” 

My fingers reach out shakily to trace the lines of your abdomen.  _ All _ your scars are gone. My eyes widen as I trail lower. I’ve seen some holos, accidentally walked in on Poe and Zorri once, but I never… You’re very big.

“Rey—”

“Can I touch it?” Kriff, that came out wrong.

This smirk, the one that’s half confident and half self-deprecating. It’s all mine. You better never show it to anyone else. “Please,” you murmur as you take my hand and bring it to your length.

I marvel at the way it hardens beneath my touch, yet is still so soft. You show me how you like to be stroked, and I’m just getting into it when you stop me.

“If you keep going, I’m going to come.”

“Oh.”  _ And that would be bad because…? _

_ I’d rather be inside you. _

Right, right. That’s what I want, too. I unwrap my breast band, enjoying the way your heated stare warms me through. Your eager hands can’t wait and I gasp at the sensation of your touch. Your whole hand can cover just one of my modest tits.

“They’re perfect.  _ You’re  _ perfect.”

I open my mouth to argue, but then it hits me. I move your hands lower to help me pull my pants off. “ _ We’re _ perfect.”

Together. It’s how we belong.

Your breath ghosts over the neat thatch of hair between my legs, and I realize with a jolt I’ve never been this bare before anyone—literally or figuratively. It’s only you, Ben.

“Can I?” you ask and I’m nodding without even processing what I’m agreeing to. Doesn’t matter—I’d do anything for you.

But then you’re laying me back down on the bed and spreading my legs and your mouth—your tongue—oh fuck. I writhe and squirm because it feels so kriffing good. Your tongue, your nose, your finger. Just one of your fingers is like two of mine.

“Ben!”

Things are levitating. I can’t make it stop. Oh fuck—right  _ there. _ How did you—?

You raise your head to wink.  _ No one else but you. I’m a quick study. _

I breathe easier for only a moment because then I’m coming, harder than I ever have in my life. I can feel myself clench around your two fingers buried deep inside me. It’s glorious. And we get to do this the rest of our lives. Aren’t we lucky?

I open my eyes to the sight of you crawling up my body to kiss me again. I taste myself on your tongue. I like it. My possessive fingers twine in your hair. Your body covering mine, skin to skin. This is right. 

“Rey…” You say my name so reverently, like a prayer. Your hands brush back the sweaty tendrils of my hair that cling to my forehead. “I love you.”

I’ve cried so much recently and don’t realize I’m doing it again until your thumbs are wiping back my tears. “I love you, too. So much.”

You smile  _ that smile _ for me again. “Who else would cross dimensions and stubbornly pull me back into this world?”

“I’d do it a thousand times if I had to.”

“I know you would. I’d do the same.”

You kiss me again and everything else melts away. Nothing exists except your body and mine. The hot throb of desire blooms low in my belly again and your fingers test my already slick entrance.

Then I feel you. You are big and warm and  _ oh _ —this feels, it feels— 

_ I know. I feel it, too. _

It’s exquisite agony, the way you take your time sliding inside me. My mouth opens on its own, and I feel my muscles stretching to fit you, to take you in, further. Deeper.

This is ecstasy. I’ve never felt anything like— 

“Fuck, Rey.”

You’re moving. We’re moving. The friction, it’s so good. So good.

My hands don’t know what to do. I run them up and down your back. You’re sweating now, and so am I. It’s the burn of a good workout, but better. I can feel you inside me. Not just your cock and how I love the way it fills me—but your mind, your  _ pleasure _ —that’s all here, too. 

We’re feeding off of each other in an endless loop of bliss. I never want it to stop. All my nerves are alight, like a live wire in the wreckage of a star destroyer.

You’re close, I can feel it and it brings me to my peak as well. “Ben,” I moan, fingers digging into your skin harder as your hips piston faster against mine.

This is—this is— 

A primordial shriek escapes my mouth as we both fall over the edge. The fire in the center of the hut sparks and flames crest up towards the ceiling for a brief moment. I feel your warmth flood deep inside me. I’m still pulsing lightly around you. 

“Wow.”

“That was—”

We both laugh, and I touch your face, overwhelmed by how precious you are to me. I can’t wait to do that a million more times with you.

* * *

BB-8 does  _ not _ know how to react to you. It’s kind of cute, actually. He beeps suspiciously and pivots back and forth between us.

“He’s my—” I pause, not knowing what to say. No term seems to suit what you are to me. “He’s my Ben.”

You smile because it’s true. 

Alcida-Auka wanders up as we’re loading up the _Falcon_. Something of a sly grin is on her little gray face. “This is your mate?”

“Yes.”

She joins our hands together and wraps a piece of scarlet material around them. You look incredulous, and I want to laugh, but I don’t.

“There,” she says simply before waddling away.

“What was that about?” you say, looking down at our wrapped hands.

“I don’t know, but I think we’re married now.” I remove the material and start to tie my hair back with it. You take it from me. I close my eyes as you comb my hair with your fingers and can feel you doing  _ something. _ “What are you doing?”

“Alderaanian braids. If you’re my wife now, then there are some traditions to uphold.” That smile again. I’ll never be over it.

I touch the intricate plaiting you’ve done and wish I had a mirror. It feels beautiful.

I watch your face as you walk up the ramp into the ship where you grew up. Your expression is cautious, but not pained. I release the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding in. I follow as you wander, your fingers tracing the walls as you move. You stop at the entrance to the cockpit.

“So… you want to pilot?”

You turn to me and chew on your words a moment. “How about co-pilot for now?”

“Deal.”

* * *

This is the part I’ve been dreading. Rose has given us the coordinates of where they’re currently based. A planet I haven’t heard of before.

“Chandrila?” Your face is almost unreadable, but I feel your apprehension through the bond.

“Yes, why?”

“That’s where I was born.”

“Oh. We don’t have to—”

“No,” you rest your hand over mine. “I want to.”

It’s beautiful here. Why am I not surprised? The whole gang comes to greet us and I let BB-8 roll down the ramp first, so he can greet Poe. Everyone looks happy to see me, but they all stop short as soon as they see you behind me.

“What’s  _ he _ doing here?” Finn asks.

I had kept everything to myself after Exegol. It didn’t feel right to talk about you in the past tense, not when the pain was still so raw. I’ve always been good at compartmentalizing. So I stayed for the celebration and the clean up—then I left. But I owe them an explanation now. And I owe it to you, as well.

_ You never owe me anything. _

“First of all, forget whatever you think you knew this man as. His name is Ben Solo, and he’s my husband.” Force, that feels good to say. “Secondly, let’s go sit down. I have a long story to tell you all.”

I try to ignore the stunned expressions and gasps as I recount the story of how I defeated Palpatine—with your help. How I died, and you brought me back to life. How I was so happy to have found you, only to lose you again. How I left because of this and found a way to bring you back. It helps that you’re holding my hand beneath the table.

Poe and Finn, they look mostly confused. But I can tell Rose thinks it’s the most romantic thing she’s ever heard. Her eyes get watery, and she smiles. “Okay,” she says when I finish.

“Okay?” I repeat.

“If you vouch for him, and he saved your life, that’s good enough for me. We’ve taken in defectors for less. Right, Generals?” She gives both Poe and Finn a withering stare I’d hate to be the recipient of.

“Right,” they both grumble in unison. I like this development.

Rose gets up and gives us both a look. “Now about that comm I sent—”

“Right,” I say, standing as well. “Lead the way.”

“Bring Ben, too.”

I don’t need to be told twice. I reach out for your hand.

* * *

The boy’s name is Temiri, and I can tell that he reminds you of yourself. He is strong in the Force, but hesitant and a little scared now that his powers have increased. I realize quickly that I’m not needed and leave the two of you alone to talk.

You’re more of a Jedi than I am.

_ That’s not true. _

I raise my shields for a bit so I can think alone. So you can focus on what you’re doing.

I’m starving, so I grab some food. I chat with Rose. I take a long shower. She made sure we had our own room, so I turn in early and smile when I feel you slide in bed beside me.

“Why did you shut me out?”

“I thought you needed to concentrate.”

“Rey—”

I turn over to face you. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Ben. Any of it.”

“And you think I do?”

I mull that over. “Fair enough.”

You draw me in close. “I’ve been given a second chance. You gave that to me. I’m not going to waste it.” You kiss my nose, my cheeks, and finally my mouth. “We’ll figure it out together.”

“Okay. Yeah, that sounds good.”

With your arms tight around me, I fall into a deep sleep. It’s the most I’ve slept in ages and when I wake, I know that this was always what was meant to happen. The two of us together, figuring it out as we go.

There’s a faint knock on the door, rousing us both. “Come in,” I call out.

Rose pokes her head in just enough to make eye contact. “Sorry to bother you so early, but we need your full names for the base manifest.”

You sit up, the sheet sliding a little down your bare chest, and I watch as Rose peeks before looking away. “Ben Organa Solo.”

“Great.” She keys it into her datapad and looks at me.

I look at you first and remember the red ribbon still in my hair. I turn to Rose. “Rey Solo.”

You smile and tug my hand till it’s over your heart. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy.

“Excellent. I’ll just be out of your hair now.” She slips out but we barely notice.

We have more important things on our minds.

**Author's Note:**

> I also made a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6WOmmJLahzA5B2xNWLEwHQ?si=aClgWkKbTFSPuQQHCoev1g) for this fic because I'm a sap. Come say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/monsterleadme).


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